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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Initial list of worries for the future.

And by "the future" I mean "next week" when I teach a whole class of real live students five language arts less0ns.

1. I hate being called Miss. GrownUp. I much prefer being called NotQuite. But, when one is teaching in a real school with real children, one has be referred to by the appropriate adult-sounding name. Therefore, I will uncomfortably be Miss. GrownUp.

2. The teacher whose class I am working with teaches very, very differently than the way I hope to/plan on teaching. Her kids are not "trained" (for lack of a better word) to react to a teacher in the way I want the students to react to me. This will make it harder, and it will make it so that some things may not work out quite the way I want.

3. I have absolutely no idea how long anything will take. No sense of time whatsoever.

4. What happens if I loose my voice? I was practicing, talking to myself for 40 minutes, and I definitely felt it starting to go. After a few days of that, what if it's gone?!
(Edit to say: Usually I would think this means I'm talking too much and not listening enough. But in this case, I am reading several different books to the class, so it's not that I'm talking too much, it's that I'm reading aloud.)

5. My pr0fessor is going to be watching and judging and taking notes on every move I make. If that's not a great way to make everything extremely uncomfortable, I don't know what is.

6. What if I trip and fall on my face in front of the whole class?

7. I don't know their names. How can I talk to them if I don't know their names?

8. Every time I think about it, I begin to panic. That's not a good sign. This panic started sometime around Monday. I need to stop worrying about it.

9. I hate my less0n plans. I hate the topic I chose and I think my activities are boring and not creative and don't show off the kind of teacher I want to be. (I'm not sure if this is pessimism or truth.)

10. I worry that I worry so much. This is supposed to be what I want to do! I should be super-excited! Especially since it's just five short lessons, one on each day of the week.

11. Due to the number of students in my class, all the other college students are paired up with a partner. I'm the only one teaching alone (due to choice, so my own fault. But still, I kind of wish I had a partner now).

This is just my preliminary list. I'm sure I'll develop more fears over the weekend. And by the time Monday morning comes along...I don't know...

6 Comments:

Blogger robtherunner said...

I think these are all natural things to be worried about and it sounds like you have been preparing yourself for all your worries. I would have the same worries and hopefully this means we are adequately thinking about all the situations that might come up. Good luck.

7:45 PM  
Anonymous Erin said...

It's completely normal to have these kinds of worries...it's the reason that we have teacher training programs! You get the chance to experiment and make mistakes BEFORE you are completely responsible for the education of your students. Plus, having those types of worries shows that you are a reflective person and that you will be able to take anything that doesn't go the way you want it and learn for the experience. Good luck!

10:48 PM  
Blogger Hg said...

Your post makes me feel so relieved that I am not doing student teaching any more. Being 'the teacher' is scary in it's own ways but it has never made me feel nauseous the way I did at uni.

Good Luck, Be Prepared (timing seems to take years - I haven't got it yet... so if you have more than you need you can use it later. Just don't try to rush them through if you do have too much), Have Fun!

You will be fine :o)

2:36 AM  
Blogger NYC Educator said...

Your worries are very normal. I advise you to learn their names ASAP. Maybe you could make a seating chart.

Another thing you might try is distributing index cards (I like the larger ones.), and having them write their names. As you call on them, note their distinguishing characteristics on their cards. Don't write anything you wouldn't want to show them, and show them if they ask to see.

Call on everyone with the cards, and shuffle them occasionally so the order doesn't get predicatable.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Not Quite Grown Up... said...

Yes, maybe (hopefully?) the fact that I'm thinking about it all ahead of time will help make it so that the things I'm worried about don't actually happen. (Either that or it will make it so that I'm so nervous I can't sleep Sunday night. We'll see.)

Whatever happens, I am a big fan of feedback and learning from my mistakes (which is obviously a good thing when it comes to teaching).

hg - That's the same thing my professor told me when I told her I was worried I had too much material and not enough time.

NYC Educator - When I talked to my professor about the not-knowing-their-names issue, she said that I could have them make name-tags, so that's what I'm planning on doing. I'm only teaching 5 45-minute lessons over the course of one week with these kids, so I don't know that I'll ever be able to learn all of their names, unfortunately.

6:21 PM  
Blogger nick said...

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6:11 AM  

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