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Sunday, April 20, 2008

So confused!

Last weekend I was offered a job at a school district in Large City in Southwestern state. I have to let them know within the next...four days whether or not I want to work for their district. I don't know what school I would work at or what grade I would teach.

There are other schools I am waiting to hear back from. Some schools I have done screening interviews with, and the screening interviews went fine, I think they went pretty well.

So I have several theoretical options, one true option, and a handful of most-likely-not options.

I have no idea what to do. Do I take the one offer I've been given? Do I decline and wait to hear back from other schools (most of whom are just now starting to hire externally) and just hope that someone else will hire me? I don't know, I don't know, Idon'tknow.

I don't want to be snotty and decline this offer, which would be a great offer. There are a lot of things I really like about the district. The demographic is one I really want to work with (high percentage of English language learners). There seems to be a fairly strong new-teacher mentoring type program. I think the pay is okay.

With all these positives going for it, shouldn't I just take the job and be done with it? I wouldn't have to worry anymore. I would still interview with principals to see which school I would end up working at, so not everything would be decided. But it would be so nice to just know. To be done with all this uncertainty.

On the other hand, I don't want to just take the first thing thrown at me. My other theoretical possibilities are good too. I think I would be happy enough at any one of them. In general I'm a fairly optimistic and go-with-the-flow person overall, so I truly feel that I would meld myself to fit anywhere. But these theoretical possibilities are just that - theoretical. They aren't offers. What if I declined this one offer I've been given, and then no one else wants to hire me? Then, I'm the idiot without a job who could have had a job had she been less choosy or indecisive or over-confident.

The thing is, in the long run, it just does not matter. Most of these places would be completely new-to-me places, so I would have to learn to adapt to the new city and the new job. And if I teach for a year or two, and absolutely hate it, I can pick up and go somewhere else to teach. I can give up teaching and apply to attend graduate school full time. I can give up teaching and apply for a completely different type of job. I am so lucky that I have the ability to decide to move wherever I want to and live there for however long I want to (as long as it ends with the school year - I would never desert a class in the middle of the school year).

My "endless possibilities" are frustratingly open. I have nothing holding me back from going anywhere, really. And I have no real preference, really. So this decision thing is causing a whole lot of mental anguish.

I guess, in four days, I will have made some decision. Whatever decision that ends up being. (In the meantime, I have more interviews scheduled, to add to the confusion. I wish people would stop interviewing me.)


Blogger East Coast Teacher said...

LOL, I wish I had your problem!

I'm in the "sending out tons of application packets and hoping for calls" stage.

I often wonder how I'll react when given my first offer - likely, just as you are at the moment.

Maybe it's because I'm a bit older - or because I don't want to go through the hell I did last summer of interviewing and waiting until the last minute for something, but I'll probably take the first offer I'm given.

Whenever that happens to be.

Because of all the reasons you mentioned. It's a chance to teach in a new environment, explore a new place, and meet new people - and if I don't like it, I can move. I'm not tied down.

I say go for it!

8:24 PM  
Blogger Not Quite Grown Up... said...

East Coast Teacher - Good luck to you on your search too! It is so painful, but now that I'm done, I don't know what to do with my life! I want to fill out more job applications/write more cover letters, just because I've gotten to proficient at it!

9:40 PM  

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