Initial list of worries for the future.
1. I hate being called Miss. GrownUp. I much prefer being called NotQuite. But, when one is teaching in a real school with real children, one has be referred to by the appropriate adult-sounding name. Therefore, I will uncomfortably be Miss. GrownUp.
2. The teacher whose class I am working with teaches very, very differently than the way I hope to/plan on teaching. Her kids are not "trained" (for lack of a better word) to react to a teacher in the way I want the students to react to me. This will make it harder, and it will make it so that some things may not work out quite the way I want.
3. I have absolutely no idea how long anything will take. No sense of time whatsoever.
4. What happens if I loose my voice? I was practicing, talking to myself for 40 minutes, and I definitely felt it starting to go. After a few days of that, what if it's gone?!
(Edit to say: Usually I would think this means I'm talking too much and not listening enough. But in this case, I am reading several different books to the class, so it's not that I'm talking too much, it's that I'm reading aloud.)
5. My pr0fessor is going to be watching and judging and taking notes on every move I make. If that's not a great way to make everything extremely uncomfortable, I don't know what is.
6. What if I trip and fall on my face in front of the whole class?
7. I don't know their names. How can I talk to them if I don't know their names?
8. Every time I think about it, I begin to panic. That's not a good sign. This panic started sometime around Monday. I need to stop worrying about it.
9. I hate my less0n plans. I hate the topic I chose and I think my activities are boring and not creative and don't show off the kind of teacher I want to be. (I'm not sure if this is pessimism or truth.)
10. I worry that I worry so much. This is supposed to be what I want to do! I should be super-excited! Especially since it's just five short lessons, one on each day of the week.
11. Due to the number of students in my class, all the other college students are paired up with a partner. I'm the only one teaching alone (due to choice, so my own fault. But still, I kind of wish I had a partner now).
This is just my preliminary list. I'm sure I'll develop more fears over the weekend. And by the time Monday morning comes along...I don't know...